What’s My Number One Piece of Parenting Advice?
If you are a parent, or you guide developing children, CONGRATULATIONS! You have one of the most important jobs on the planet. And also one of the most challenging! Yeah! Your primary job as a parent is not to protect your children, but to prepare them to navigate life and be a contributing member of society.
My number one piece of parenting advice is to follow through on your promises and your threats. Be a person of your word. Raise children who can trust what you say and what you do. It will save you both from frustration and disappointment. It models to them integrity and boundaries. They will be better equipped to honor limits for themselves and others.
SCENARIO: Your child is begging for a toy at Target, you say no, they begin to whine, you tell them to stop or that you will not go to Culvers on the way home. They start to cry, people are looking at you, your time at Target is not enjoyable, you decide to tell them fine, “I’ll buy it.” The tears stop, you purchase the toy, get Culvers on the way home, and you both live happily ever after, until the next time you are at Target! And the cycle happens all over again…
TRY INSTEAD: Your child is begging for a toy at Target, you say no one time, they begin to whine, you tell them to stop or that you will not go to Culvers on the way home, one time. They do not stop. You leave the items in your cart, take your child outside, get in the car, and go home. You did not get your shopping done, but your child knows you mean business. The next time you go to Target, might be a pleasant one! Ideally, you would start parenting this way from the time your child is an infant!
If you have not and you want to pivot, you can sit down with your kids and let them know you have messed up as a parent. That moving forward you want to be someone that they can count on and know what you say one time you mean. Inform them of how you will handle future situations. Go with the INSTEAD option. It might take a few times, but they will learn and the begging will stop.
Parenting can be rough. If you could use some parenting support or coaching, Coriander Living Collective has your back! Just reach out for a free consultation or schedule an intake online!
Other parenting tips from the Coriander Living Collective BLOG can be found here!
